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PWPA: Whataya Want From Me?

January 9th, 2010 (04:29 am)
Tags: ,

current song: Whataya Want From Me - Adam Lambert

Title: Whataya Want From Me?
Fandom: PWPA AU – Triad ;)
Characters: Jean/Taylor/Riordan
Word Count: 2,340
Summary: Just don't give up / I'm workin' it out / Please don't give in / I won't let you down
Rating: ‘Hard R’, for sexuality and a bit of language.
Notes: Heard this on YouTube thanks to my newfound Adam Lambert obsession. And in reading the lyrics I realized it fit our AU perfectly. Oh, in case somebody reads this and is confused, mainly those who play some of Ri’s best friends; don’t worry about it. ;)

Hey, slow it down
Whataya want from me
Whataya want from me
Yeah, I'm afraid
Whataya want from me
Whataya want from me

This was all one big mistake of fate. This surely must be a mix up of luck with somebody who had considerably better karma going for them than Jean. He shouldn’t be this lucky right now, shouldn’t be gazing into the eyes of the boy he had first allowed himself to surrender to while another (also extremely attractive) boy performed oral sex on him.

Yeah, that just was too good to be true, and as Jean had learned, when something was too good to be true, it probably was.

Taylor was smiling at Jean assuredly, a calming presence as always. He had engaged in a threesome before, yeah, but it hadn’t been like this. And even though Riordan’s skills were undeniable, he was captivated by Taylor’s face. He leaned up to just barely kiss Taylor’s cheek, because kissing his lips still felt like it wasn’t allowed, even though he was all but aching to do that.

When he had been invited to join the young couple on their bed, he wasn’t sure what he was supposed to expect. But he knew that everything in his gut was probably an accurate sinking feeling: something about this was just not settling well with him. Too good to be true indeed.

There might have been a time
When I would give myself away
Once upon a time
I didn't give a damn
But now here we are
So whataya want from me
Whataya want from me

Late afternoons after classes in the art room had become a regularity for Jean after he had become officially not the school slut. It was a way to occupy his suddenly open schedule. Instead of hooking up with people he barely was on a first-name basis every day, Jean painted. It had always made him happy before, and now that was more true than ever. Especially when he needed to clear his head.

After a while of him working on his painting, he heard the door open, turning to see Taylor walking in. He smiled a little bit, honestly happy to see him, but also a bit nervous, since he had a feeling he knew what Taylor was doing here, and it didn’t have a lot to do with charcoal. It had to do with what had started only a few short months ago, and he wasn’t sure he wanted to talk about it right now.

“Hey,” Taylor said as he walked over to Jean, looking over his shoulder. “That looks really good.”

Jean shrugged, playing modest when it came to his artwork. “Jus’ another landscape.”

“But you’ve always been good at those,” Tay retorted. When Jean didn’t say anything in response to him, Taylor stepped in a bit closer to him. “Is everything okay with you, Jean? You’ve been off the past few days…”

How was he supposed to explain this to Taylor? “Yeah, I’m fine.” Obviously he didn’t buy it, and Taylor stepped in a bit closer to Jean, wrapping his arms around Jean’s waist comfortingly. But instead of relaxing like Jean wanted to, oh so badly, Jean bristled. “Won’t Riordan get angry if he sees you like this with me?”

He felt the tension in Taylor’s body at that, confusion. And even though he did let go of Jean, he now had a frown on his face. “Jean… Riordan really likes you, I mean… how else do you explain the past few months?”

Jean took in a deep breath, letting it out slowly. “Teenage hormones. That’s an easy one.” He knew he was acting particularly cold right now, but he felt like he needed to, to protect himself from what he was positive would be further pain down the path.

That didn’t mean it didn’t hurt Jean when he saw out of the corner of his eye the look on Taylor’s face. He just looked at Jean for a moment before sighing. “I… I’ll talk to you later.” He turned and watched Taylor walking out of the art room, running a hand through his hair, and Jean could feel his heart teetering.

Just don't give up, I'm workin' it out
Please don't give in, I won't let you down
It messed me up, need a second to breathe
Just keep coming around - Hey, whataya want from me
Whataya want from me

Taylor and Riordan were a couple. Jean knew that, the whole school knew that, and it was basically common knowledge that ever since they had started dating their junior year the two of them were inseparable. And if Jean tried to pretend any differently, he was an idiot.

So later that same night, he was fully intent on passing right by Taylor and Riordan’s dorm room instead of stopping by like he had started doing almost every night. But instead, as he turned down the hallway that he lived on, he froze.

Taylor and Riordan were right in the middle of the hallway, Tay’s arms draped over Riordan’s shoulders as he kissed him happily, the other boy clinging with his arms around his waist. And Jean could feel his stomach going through a theoretical paper shredder.

He was a third wheel. The moments where he looked at both of them in the bed and thought he was a spark of something else were too beautiful to be real for him. Jean had to accept that he wouldn’t have that fire again in his life, at least not as long as he was at this school. It didn’t matter how badly his heart stopped when he made eye contact with Taylor, or how his skin tingled like a lingering shock after Riordan so much as touched him. Besides, since when did something like this ever become more than just a sexual experiment.

Just as Jean was planning on turning around and sitting on one of the couches in the lounge for a few minutes, he saw Riordan break the kiss and turn his head to see Jean, eyes widening and laughing. Taylor followed his vision and grinned a bit, almost bashfully, at the sight of Jean there. Jean couldn’t help but smile as well, going down the hallway to greet them.

“ ’Aving fun?” Riordan quipped at Jean, still with one arm around Taylor. “Quite the show for ya, aren’t we?” This just made Taylor start blushing, though he also had a bit of a grin on his face.

Jean was actually left a bit speechless, sporting a little half-grin. “I… yes?”

Riordan just grinned at him. “Then come on. I’m pretty sure it’s your turn next…” With a wink he led Taylor into their room, looking at Jean with a look that said to follow. And when Jean fell into the mutual embrace between the two boys, he forgot about his worries and his doubts for a while.

But when it was done, and all three of them were lying in bed, Jean was staring at the ceiling. Riordan had already fallen asleep, and Jean looked over to see Taylor lying on his side, facing away from him. Jean very carefully got out of bed, pulling his pants on and such.

“Don’t leave this time,” Jean heard from the bed. He turned to see Taylor, sitting up and watching him get dressed. Jean couldn’t help but feel his heart break a bit at the look on Taylor’s face.

“I’ll see you in the morning,” Jean said reassuringly, trying to smile. He went over to Taylor, giving him a small kiss before he pulled on his shirt. “Go back to sleep.”

Yeah, it's plain to see
That baby you're beautiful
And there’s nothing wrong with you
It's me – I'm a freak
But thanks for lovin' me
Cause you're doing it perfectly

Today, Riordan’s sport of choice seemed to be football. That would be what Taylor would call ‘soccer’, but to normal people like him and Ri, it was football. You rarely even kicked the ball in American Football, why in the world did they call it that anyway?! ...Off topic, because right now Jean was watching Riordan.

This wasn’t something that Jean did very often, seeking out Riordan as opposed to just gravitating towards Taylor. But after four months now in bed with Riordan and the winter heavy around them and snow thin on the turf, it was kind of fascinating seeing Riordan out with a football, kicking it into the goal, kicking up the snow as he ran.

Of course, it was a little odd that Jean was basically spying on him, hiding behind the bleachers, watching Riordan, huddled inside his winter coat. But right now he just wanted to watch him, not talk or paint or do anything else. Just see him painted alone against the snowy space there and appreciate the wonder.

Riordan was wearing nothing more as protection from the cold but a hoodie, setting up the football on the line. He rubbed his hands together for a moment to warm himself up before taking a few steps back, running up to the ball and kicking it, sending it flying into the goal. Was there any form of athletics Ri couldn’t eventually master?

After that, Riordan paused, and Jean realized just in time that he could feel the other boy watching him, and just before he turned around to see Jean, he was walking, as if he had just shown up. “What’re you doing out here? Do you know how cold it is?”

Ri grinned, shrugging. “I’ve gotten bored with everything inside.” Of course that was the only excuse he needed.

Jean just laughed a bit, arms crossed to further protect himself from the cold air. “Need someone to practice with?”

At that, he was sure for a moment that Riordan was going to agree, but then instead something came over his face and he smiled. “Nah, I have a better idea.” He motioned for Jean to follow him over to the bleachers, which after blinking for a moment he followed. Sitting down together on the bleachers, Riordan looked at Jean for a moment before smirking. “I do need somebody to warm me up, though.”

Jean just looked at him, not catching the hint at first, but then he smirked back. “Any way I can help.”

With that, Riordan leaned forward, connecting lips with Jean. His lips were cold, and Jean raised a hand to his cheek, as if trying to warm him. The kiss slowly deepened but maintained the gentleness, a quiet peace between them. Soon they were laying down in-between the bleachers on the cold metal step, Jean’s coat wrapped around both of them as Riordan let Jean nuzzle into the softness of his hoodie-covered chest, snow blowing around them. And that aching in Jean’s stomach subsided again, and Jean began to wonder if he was the problem in all of this, because Riordan was fucking amazing…

There might have been a time
When I would let you step away
I wouldn't even try
But I think you could save my life

Lying in bed with these two boys had become the most natural thing of his life. He could relax in Taylor’s hold and feel Riordan’s arm draping over the both of them, and he’d never felt this kind of circle of completion. When he was with Taylor, things were amazing. If Riordan was kissing him, he saw fireworks. But when the three of them were together like this, the world could be ending and he would be happy where he was. If only…

He heard Riordan whispering to Taylor first but didn’t really mind what he was saying until he heard Taylor’s response: “You think he will?”

Jean’s head perked up, able to tell when he was being talked about. Taylor looked at Jean for a moment before smiling at him. “Hey… have you thought about… this becoming more than just sex?”

The young Frenchman couldn’t help but arch an eyebrow. “What do you mean?”

At this, Taylor paused, turning around to look at Riordan for help. The Scot sat up slowly, looking between the two of them and going through the situation in his head to make a decision before settling on Jean. "It's on the internet... where people have relationships tha'... include more than two people."

Taylor smiled a little bit, trying to help Riordan out now that he had started things off and gotten the ball rolling. "It's called polyamory... or, you know, the three of us..." He looked between the two of them with a smile. "...We'd be a triad."

But Jean was still confused. “…You mean… the three of us… would all be boyfriends with each other?”

His head was a little discombobulated. He had never even considered the possibility of this being more than sex for them, and had all but resigned to the fact that he would end up hurt in the end when both of them moved on from him.

But this… having both of these boys in his life, being able to share his fears and his joys in his life with both of them,

Jean couldn’t help but smile at the idea.

Riordan grinned back when he saw the smile on Jean's face, and soon he was getting up, climbing over both of them in bed, much to the laughs and protests of the other two boys. “What are you doing,” Taylor laughed.

“Getting closer to my new boyfriend,” he said matter-of-factly, settling down on the other side of Jean, drawing the other boy’s eyes.

Jean's eyes widened at that and his jaw dropped, a bit taken aback. “I… I didn’t say yes!” Despite the sound in his voice, he was still smiling.

Riordan comfortably slipped an arm around Jean, causing the second to quiet down, smile softening a bit and just scoot a bit closer to him. “Will you say yes, Jean?”

Jean’s eyes were drawn into Ri’s gaze, broken only when he turned to look at Taylor. He was smiling too, simple and pure, the kind of shining that had always dazzled Jean. Both of these boys were the most amazing people he’d ever found, and the comfort he was feeling right now, safe between the two of them, was something he had never found before. So even though all of this was a bit confusing to him, and a part of him was still wary of being hurt in the end, he took a chance, because usually taking those worked out pretty well in his favor.

Jean smiled lightly. “If you can put up with me, I’ll do anything you want.”

Just don't give up
I'm workin' it out
Please don't give in
I won't let you down
It messed me up, need a second to breathe
Just keep coming around
Hey, whataya want from me
Whataya want from me


Posted by: Lienna (lienna28)
Posted at: January 10th, 2010 04:15 am (UTC)
ri and tay kisses

*dies* No, really, I'm dead.
OH MY GAWD, my boooys!!!!! Our boys!! Ah!!
This is utterly wonderful. Wonderfully written, and I love your Riordan and I just fudging love them. Ah!

Also, I now need a Tayriean icon! There is a sad lack of Jean in this one ->

Posted by: .kelly.aka.kiwi. (kellygyneth)
Posted at: January 10th, 2010 08:44 am (UTC)

Didn't you do a photomanip of the three of them? Refresh my memory...

Posted by: Laura (drifting_dream)
Posted at: January 10th, 2010 08:18 am (UTC)

okay, I'm finally at a computer and can comment back! I read it on my phone both times I've read it. It's funny, cause when I read on my phone "'s don't show up, so I just have to be smart in picking out what people would say.

the snow scene? So fucking cute. Amanda and I agreed that it's our favorite.

“Jean… Riordan really likes you, I mean… how else do you explain the past few months?”

Jean took in a deep breath, letting it out slowly. “Teenage hormones. That’s an easy one.” He knew he was acting particularly cold right now, but he felt like he needed to, to protect himself from what he was positive would be further pain down the path.

That didn’t mean it didn’t hurt Jean when he saw out of the corner of his eye the look on Taylor’s face. He just looked at Jean for a moment before sighing. “I… I’ll talk to you later.”

That right there? That killed me dead. I'm just dead now.

Posted by: .kelly.aka.kiwi. (kellygyneth)
Posted at: January 10th, 2010 08:46 am (UTC)
jean/tay icon

-pout- I'm sorry that my jean baby is a little prick sometimes and makes yourself dead.

This icon has a lack of Riordan in it, but... sigh.

Posted by: Lienna (lienna28)
Posted at: January 10th, 2010 06:17 pm (UTC)
ri and tay kisses

Oh wow, I drew that didn't I? So much fail :P

Posted by: didaverseend (didaverseend)
Posted at: January 10th, 2010 09:59 pm (UTC)

yeah, and I just realized Jean isn't blonde anymore.... so the icon is a bit moot.

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